Who says liberals are not grizzled patriots who pick fights with terrorists and talk like sailors?

Rushbo. That's who says it. But I have more grizzle and patriotism on just one nut than John Stossel has in his mustache. Don't think that's a lot of grizzle and patriotism? Have you seen John Stossel's mustache? It's exquisite. . .

You know who else has a lot of patriotism of the grizzled variety? Sara Benincasa at Wonkette. Read about how she will single-handedly take down Osama bin Laden, who is hiding out in the Appalachians of North Carolina. Didn't know about Osama's knew hideout? I'm not surprised. Rush "lin Baden" is certainly not gonna divulge it. Good luck Sara!

Debbie Schlussel hates fat (and brown) people and the liberals hiding behind them. So much fat, so many liberals.

Debbie Schlussel is concerned -- in a rather morbid way -- she's morbidly concerned that liberals are engaged in an evil plot to rid the world of junk food, starving us all except for the Hollywood elite, who shall grow to Jabba the Hut sizes. Hollywood will then exalt morbid obesity as the new unattainable body type. We shall all huddle around our few old CRT televisions and watch as the Jabba the Hut version of Kristin Chenoweth is carried down the red carpet by her skinny, disgusting manservants, and we shall lick our lips at the prospect of scavenging enough caloric intake to one day be as satiated and luxuriant as Jabba Keifer Sutherland.

Why -- how, God -- does Debbie Schlussel divine these things? Does she consume Teh Spice? Does she commune with Ronald Reagan's ghost? Does Spice provide access to Ronald Reagan's ghost? Nej. Debbie Schlussel has deduced the foul liberal agenda because People magazine editors "They" have determined Gabourey Sidibe, Oscar-nominated actress of Precious fame, to be a "Most Beautiful Person". Sidibe is an obese African-American woman. Debbie Schlussel objects to this new definition of beauty, and she adds these racially charged racist remarks, because why not: "she's not just any fat actress, she’s a Black fat actress in a ghetto movie promoted by Oprah and based on a 'gangsta lit' book."

As I see it, People is promoting an excellent actress who broke through Hollywood's glass ceiling for large women and non-whites. That's beautiful. As Debbie sees it, however, People magazine editors Hollywood is thinking one of two things: (1) They really think Gabourey Sidibe is beautiful, which is ridiculous because everyone knows that Hollywood thinks that only size six bodies can be beautiful (QED). (2) They love food more than they hate fat people, so their alliance with liberal foodie Nazis is really an effort to impoverish Real 'Murica of food and concentrate food in Hollywood, where the stars will feast and grow enormous at our expense. In the latter construction, Gabourey Sidibe is a dry run for Jabba Lindsey Lohan.

In summary, Debbie Schlussel is ugly -- on the inside.

Oh internets

A Hutaree militia message board has been attacked by the glorious /b/tard army. Their weapon of choice? Big black dicks. As with many /b/ performance art projects, the message here is hard to divine, but I'm gonna have to go with the fact that there's nothing scarier in the mind of white conservatives than big black dick. After all, the most infamous wingnut militia, the KKK, was founded to rescue white women from the scourge of black cock.

OMG, Harry Reid is the Devil! Tell me something I don't know, Republicans... James E. Christ!

This is precious. Republicans upset about slavery! Come the fuck on! Everyone knows that Republicans invented slavery 5000 years ago in Egypt. This is why 70% of Jews are Democrats.

Good Riddance, You Fat Fuck

Seems like most folks are taking the high road when it comes to Rush Limbaugh's health troubles. Digby's all like, "I won't gloat but I'll just remind everyone of Michael J. Fox." And that liberal den of sin at Wonkette is waiting until the fat bastard actually dies until they start in with the death jokes. Well, Great Justice places no special importance on the value of human life. Not that we're sociopaths, it's just that we think ideas and institutions are the only important things, and Rush Limbaugh is simply a meat puppet filled with wretched prejudices and reactionary politics. Great Justice wishes that Rush Limbaugh would take a substantial proportion of the world's hate, ignorance and greed with him when he dies, but alas he will not. He won't even take right-wing radio. So Rush, go and die -- or not. It really doesn't matter.